Nineteen.

yesterday was my birtday. i`ve got this mixed feeling- i was happy because everyone wished for my wellbeing, and some of them even gave me presents. so touched! i didn`t expect that from you guys, thanks a lot! though u`re wishes are also much2 appreciated! here are the presents that i got:







hahaha, i don`t care about the price, as long as you said that it`s a present, i`ll consider it as a present. heehhee

and now, the sad part:

i got this message from wan nor:

"ingatlah Allah dalam hatimu, nescaya tiada duka untukmu..
ingatlah Allah dalam hatimu, nescaya musibah dunia tiada buatmu..
Kelmarin Allah membantumu.. percayalah, hari ini dan selamanya Allah membantumu..
Jadilah hamba yg paling bahagia di sisi Allah.. Selamat Hari Lahir.. Cerah!"

then, izzat muhaimin came and wished for my birthday and he asked:

"ari ni ari jadi ko kan? umur makin panjang ke makin pendek??"

the words struck to my heart. a slap of reality. i`m not getting any younger. my death is approaching. and my sins are increasing day by day. i`ve done a lot of sins-I ALWAYS GOSSIPPING, I BREAK A FRIENSHIP BOND, I STILL COULD NOT HELP BUT HATE CERTAIN PEOPLE, I`M JUDGEMENTAL, MY IBADAH ARE NOT PERFECT AND ON AND ON. owh, and what good have i done??? hmmpphh. i remembered the videos about DEATH that i watch at the ITC the other day. TOLONG AKU UNTUK BERUBAH YA ALLAH...

and once again, i want to thank my
parents,
siblings and
my friends!

thanks guys, you`re the best!!!

p/s: i remembered ustazah nazirah from my high school once told us not to wish a long life for ourselves or someone else`s. come to think it, it makes sense. just imagine ourselves as a senile and very old people , we would surely causes difficulties to sons or daughter. ask ourselves- do we really want that??